It's been a long time since I last posted. I guess it was unavoidable, with third year starting at full-blast, unfortunately. Funny to say, I haven't done anything in the past three weeks except go to school, eat meals, take baths, accomplish assignments, and have an awful lot of sleep. Culture shock, If I may say so myself. Although there has been a lot of things happening to me since school started, and it wasn't just culture shock. But still, I don't think I can be less happy of everything that has happened to me since the school year started.
I wasn't chosen as ME. I was hurt at first, but I guess I accepted it. I realized that it wasn't anyone else's fault, and things like that are directed by fate. And even if fate is bendable, i didn't the play the strings right. I was too cocky for my own good, and thank-god I was slapped out of an otherwise inescapable reverie. I feel happier and more content now. Secure, even.
I was embarassed in front of the batch, but I think it's almost gone now. I've always made a big deal of things like that, maybe because of an event from my past. But at least someone woke up. JOEY, thankyou. :) My new mantra now is it was just a mistake, although it was in front of tons of people. THANKYOU. :)
I got the person I have a biggest grudge on as one of my new classmates. I won't mention who. I was angry at first and planned to play plastic, but she seemed cordial even. Either I'm somewhat untouchable now because of my circumstances, or she really has changed, probably because of high school. Most of the grudge is gone by now, although I'm still wary around her. But we even had a few laughs, and I feel less cheated. I get to be myself around her for once.
My hair was cut short, and some people even said it didn't suit me. But hey, I finally felt as though people were rejecting me. It's MY hair, MY life. People have different opinions. I cut my hair because I thought it looked damn better than a ponytail, it was hot this season, and short haircuts look good. And judging me by my hair is downright laughable.
I was startled by the amount of schoolwork I was facing and the complexity of soon-to-come-lessons. But I gradually fell back to a study routine. I study things now. Can you believe it? But now, at least, I have a sense of direction. A feeling that I was facing something inordinately bigger than myself, and I have a shot at conquering it. Ambitious and a bit-conceited, I know, but nothing beats the feeling of accomplishment by the end of the day.
Most of the third years got transferred to the first floor. I was angry at first, but it subsided. It was actually nostalgic to be on the first floor again. I don't feel as high and mighty as I was in the first week, because I was a third year already. And some humility isn't that bad, right?
So that's it. Tons of unfortunate events happened, but it's already starting to change me for the better. It feels really good. Turns out damage control is already done and fixing it is already beginning. By now, I can wholeheartedly say that junior year is going to be one my most memorable events in my pam-esque life.
Hey, we can even have a toast of coke for a new beginning. :)
