Thursday, November 22, 2007
There's a moment where everyone just stops and thinks about their life.
Before this post, I'd like to include that this was inspired by Paula's post. :)
I guess this is one of those moments. I guess it was time I admitted it; I haven't had direction for a long time. I had one when I was in first year, but it's gone now. I envy those people who have the strength to go on, who don't even seem to be tired after years of studying. Yes, people, I envy you. Not because of being smart, or genius-like, or naturally talented, but having the strength and patience to go on with life and follow what you want. I have none of that.
It wasn't a pressing issue for a long time. Fact is, I was too busy handling problems and fixing my life. Back then, I was still healing and I had to build myself from scratch. Now I've gone through thick and thin, have cried myself to sleep. have laughed myself to death, have confessed so many things. I've lost track of them all. Finally, I've finished healing myself. I can move on.
I now need to go to a greater heights, to move on to the next level, or else everything will be for naught. Don't get me wrong, I really am happy. It's just that if I don't try to continue this, I wouldn't become satisfied anymore. I've found everything I can in this path.
I want to find it. I've decided to stop trying to focus as a student for a while. It's not about priorities, or even goals; I could make tons of those in record time. I want to find a purpose, to find what I really want in life. I need to rediscover myself again, because God only knows how much all my encounters have changed me.God knows how long this personality check will take.
Hopefully I'll come back thankful for doing this.
