Sometimes I just don't know who I'm supposed to trust. :(
Today was eventful. I came out scarred, but relatively unscathed.
I almost had a heart attack today. I thought there was going to be a repeat of last month. Thank god it wasn't. It was ironic too; who knew it would involve the same people? I don't really get if this year was meant to be a rollercoaster. No, really.
Too much has happened this year. Somehow I feel as though a floor is added to my chest every other minute. It's a miracle I'm still able to handle it, even barely. Sooner or later I may snap. I know I've done stupid things. Really stupid ones. I just hope I can move on and change.
But as I said, I am relatively unscathed. I guess last month's events prepared me for something like this. But I don't think I'd last at this rate. Too much. This is already too much. How long am I supposed to wear a happy, unaffected, serious facade to everyone when I'm already past my breaking point? It hurts me to think that.
I really don't know who to trust. I know she doesn't mean any wrong. Quite the opposite, actually. I like her as a friend and I truly respect her a lot. Even after she's done stuff I would normally have hated another person at, I just can't when she's involved. Right now I'm not even angry, just a little bit irritated. I just wish she could just stop pretending and hiding stuff and tell it straight to my face. Who knows? After what I've done, I may just be a bug in her eyes. Haha.
All I can say is I can't hate her. Even if I'd wanted it to, she's done nothing wrong. I know she'll be able to read this or hear about this through some twist of fate. Don't be angry or think I'm being melodramatic. This is the truth.
